20 Signs You’re A Market Researcher

By Adam Rossow

1) You know that an IHUT is not a dwelling for Apple employees.

2) When asked a question, you respond with a question.

3) You know it’s not the size of your panel that matters, but what you can do with it.

4) You’ve introduced your friends as respondents.

5) Telling people you’re not eligible to take their survey because you’re in the industry gives you a rush.

6) You can spell Honomichl. (Wouldn’t Jack’s Top 50 have been easier?)

7) You’ve called yourself a pollster because you think it sounds sexier than researcher.

8) You have tried to recruit from such sample population segments as mixed ethnicity tea party Gen X’ers who remove the tag from their mattress.

9) You’ve had to convince new acquaintances that you are not personally responsible for calling them at home during dinner.

10) Your favorite rap video is Listen to your brain by Dr. Neurofocus.

11) You know that a Monadic design is not a type of wallpaper.

12) Your morning news team is Lenny, Annie and Tom.

13) You’ve defaulted to telling your older relatives that you send out surveys because it’s just easier.

14) When people ask about Big Data you tell them you know everything but unfortunately you have to keep it a Big Secret.

15) You are excited to find out what made the cover of Quirks this month.

16) You’ve thought about the horrific possibility of a research civil war between the Quants and the Qualies.

17) You can get lost in a good data book.

18) You know that an industry as powerful and complicated as ours cannot be governed by any less than 10 associations.

19) Vague terminology like “a lot”, “pretty good” and “I think so” makes you extremely uneasy.

20) Your gut feeling is to do research on your gut feeling.

What other signs can you think of fellow researchers? We’d love to keep growing this list and could use your help!